You may call me "Cavernous Jugulum". I am the anonymous source deep in the bowels of the White House that leaked information on the Trump administration. I have worked for every administration in the White House since Lyndon B. Johnson. I consider it my patriotic duty to expose the excrement coming from this cesspit.
I authored the Op-Ed article that was published in the New York Times. I am the unsung hero that has been working diligently from within to unclog the workings of this administration. I am the source of information used in Bob Woodward's new book. I can factually verify everything that has been written and reported concerning the crap that has been going on at the White House.
I have been disparaged in the media for exercising my patriotic duty. Therefore, I have chosen to expose my identity to prove my bona fides. Ladies and gentlemen of the United States Of America, I am the Official White House plumber.